I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
