Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
