you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
