youre lurking in front of me
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
