you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My butt remains clenched, sir.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
