Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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