going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
