Non-Jews are for practice
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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