My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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