I just saw a hot homeless man
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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