Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
