Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
