And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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