I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
