nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
