Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
