i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
