these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
