If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
