I wannas sexs uuuuu
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dicks are not precious.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize