I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
