we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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