Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize