Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Randomize
