he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
