can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
