I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can't turn off my feet"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
