You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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