what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
