she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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