yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
