Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize