and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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