i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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