I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
