So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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