I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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