please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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