I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
