He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
