What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
