Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
