Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
