Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
