i just google imaged poop.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
