I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Operation Purity has been aborted
Dignity is for republicans.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
