Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
