dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
