Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
