Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
