i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
