I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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