it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
