Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just invented taco cereal.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
