Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
