Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
