I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
