my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You made out with two different species that night
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
