i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I will be naked everywhere
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My feet surprised me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
