on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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