Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
