Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
