also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
