opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
