today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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