what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
kristin has been a bad kristin
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
