he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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