Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We need to get me chipped asap
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
