Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
