Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
